Soooo….this isn’t a Chiconky thing. This is a life thing. I think there are many out there who can relate. I’ve been job searching for two years. I’ve had one interview. I try not to take it personally, but after so long, the shit gets old…
What they all say:
Dear Ms. Maggrett,
Thank you for your interest in our organization. We have reviewed your application materials, and unfortunately you have not been chosen for consideration at this time.
We wish you the best of luck!
What it feels like:
Dear Ms. Maggrett,
Thank you for your interest in our organization. We have reviewed your application materials, and have determined that you are of no value, and have nothing to offer. In fact, you are not really worth the time I’ve spent writing this message, but we felt that we, as countless others before us, could not pass up the opportunity to tell you that you will never, ever work again.
We wish you the best of luck! Ha, ha, just kidding…you suck.
So this is a Chiconky thing that bothered me. I applied for a job through the State of Colorado, and this was part of the online application. Although it clearly states that a response isn’t required, and that this info is for federal record keeping purposes only, it still bothered me. As a Chiconky, I have been checking two boxes, Other, or Hispanic or Latino all my life. This is the first time that I have ever encountered a set of responses that specifically stated “Not Hispanic or Latino” after EVERY SINGLE RESPONSE OTHER THAN HISPANIC OR LATINO! Yes, I’m shouting about it because it’s bleeding weird. Current statistics state that Hispanics/Latinos are the fastest growing minority in the United States. Is it because many of those “new” H/Ls are really Chiconkys? Why is the federal government now forcing me to choose between being Caucasian (Not Hispanic or Latino) and Hispanic or Latino? It’s bullshit! I’m both! I’m not more one than the other, and no other ethnicity has this distinction on this application. It even says, “Two or more races, not Hispanic or Latino”. Wtf?
Good gracious I’ve been gone a long time! Well, glitter happens. Geez, I last posted in August of 2012. Since then I lost my job (it’ll be a year next month, yikes!), continued my Masters program, began rebuilding my massage therapy practice, spent a lot of time at home with my dudes, and have started to lose my mind just a little bit. But in a good way. After working as a Director of Education and Dean of Students for 6 bleeding years, every day that I don’t go to an office and am not anybody’s boss or in charge of major decisions that affect the lives of others – I get a little crazier. A little more free. A little more me. I care less and less about what others think, and realize more and more that I gotta get on with it.
So, in that vein, I bought the domain name chiconky.com. I couldn’t name this blog chiconky.com because a very nice lady that I have communicated with already uses is for her blog. Her kids are chiconkys. The term chiconky has always just stuck with me. I feel really happy and a little “The Brain”-ish about buying it. You know, Pinky and the Brain? No? Watch some Tiny Toons,..you’ll get it. Anyways, I couldn’t believe it was available, so I really had no choice but to buy it. I don’t know what I’m going to do with it, but it’s mine and that’s what matters.
I have one more class to go and I’ll be done with my degree, that has to be the priority, In the meantime, this blog will grow and change. I’m already shifting the focus from strictly all things chiconky to my own general thoughts and experiences. Everything about my life is colored by my chiconkiness, it’s just a given. Hope you come along for the ride.
I’m here! I’ve been lost in life, but I’m still here. This is still important. I can’t forget!
Today Hunter went to a very nice birthday party for one of his preschool friends. It was in a very fancy neighborhood with mostly very white people. Nice, wonderful people. I didn’t think about it too much, but I of course immediately surveyed the crowd to see if I was the only darkie. There were a couple more who were at least not white and blonde, but I don’t know what they were and didn’t really care to talk about it. I just wanted to have a nice time with my family. Which I did. I did get a grin when all the tow headed little boys with little white boy names like, well, Hunter were all gathered around the birthday boy opening presents. He blended right in.
When the party was over, we were all walking to the car. I said to Hunter, “Did you have a good time with all your little Y friends?” You see, he met all these kids while attending preschool at the YMCA. My husband says, “Oh God I thought you were gonna say all your little white friends. I was like geez I know but can you at least wait until we get in the car?” HIlarious.
My best friend’s maiden name is Maria Mendoza. Her dad is like me – half and half. Her mother is white. Maria is little, blond and blue eyed. She looks like a fairy. I’m going to ask her if I can post her picture. That’s why it’s funny that her name was Maria Mendoza and mine was Ginger McKim before we were married. Not to each other. We’re not gay, and even if we were we live in Colorado.
Anyway, we have lots of Chiconkey things we go through and talk about. Here is one of my favorites. Maria, still Mendoza, went in for same day surgery that required anesthesia. I went with her. We were in her little room, she in her hospital gown and me sitting in a chair reading a magazine. The nurse came in to talk to her about anesthesia. His last name was Rodriguez I believe. So he comes in, reads the name on the chart, looks at me, looks at her, and starts talking to me because surely the dark one MUST be Maria Mendoza. No way the little blond one in the freakin’ hospital gown could be Maria Mendoza! Maria and I laughed, and I corrected him. I’m sure he will never make that kind of assumption again.
I hadn’t posted anything for over a month when I checked my messages and saw that I had a new comment. Turns out it was from the very nice lady who created “Chiconky”. I found her blog when I was looking for what I’m doing here and I thought I had hit the mother load. When I got there, I discovered that her blog was really a journal she started about her family’s move. Definitely not what I expected. So, she found me and she said she was excited to see what this turns into. It was enough to make me interested again, it reminded me that there are people like me who are looking and not finding, and it made me believe again that what I have to say is important. I also read Paul Mooney’s book Black Is The New White and nearly everything Paul Mooney has to say is somehow tied to race. So, I thought about it some more. I can relate to alot of things that he talks about, but I haven’t found anyone out there in the world that openly talks about the things that are on my mind, and that I know are on the minds of others – Chiconkey or not. Maybe Blexican, or Whasian or some other mixture that is not one or the other but BOTH.
After analyzing my experiences and reflecting on some more Chiconkey happenings in my life, I found that although race has been a big factor in many of the things that I have exprienced, so too have been gender and whether or not I am fat at the time. It occured to me that I’ve been an in-between person in different ways all my life. I’m white and brown, I’ve been fat and skinny, I’m a straight female who has, shall we say, assertive personality traits. Traits that in men are seen as characteristics of leadership, and in women as being a condescending bitch. More on that later…
So, here are some things that happened recently. Attached you will find pictures of me and our son, and my husband and our son. I have always joked that it’s a good thing that he looks like me or people would think to themselves, “Where’d she steal that White baby from?” or “She must be the nanny.” My husband has never been a fan of those remarks because he can’t understand what it’s like to be me. People always assume he looks like my husband because he so guero, but really he’s got my face. I was happy to talk to a gal the other day who is just like me. Mother is Spanish – proper Spanish I believe, and her dad is Irish. She’s dark like me and her maiden name is Boyle. Hilarious! I saw that she had a little white boy like I do. Here is our conversation.
Me: So, you’re like me. You have a little blond baby too.
Her: Oh yeah! Is that your son?
Her: So you know what it’s like when people think you’re the nanny?
Me: YES!!!! Oh my God I can’t believe you said that!
And we became fast friends talking about Chiconkey things like that.
Here is a real text between me and my best friend, Maria Mendoza who is the whitest, blondest, blue eyed Chiconkey ever.
Maria: What’s machaca?
Me: Can’t remember. Beef or pork. Delicious anyway…
You would think somebody named Maria Mendoza would know what machaca is right? Nope. And I still don’t know if it’s beef or pork…
Thanks for playing…