Archive | May 2012

Ginger and Maria

My best friend’s maiden name is Maria Mendoza.  Her dad is like me – half and half.  Her mother is white.  Maria is little, blond and blue eyed.  She looks like a fairy.  I’m going to ask her if I can post her picture.  That’s why it’s funny that her name was Maria Mendoza and mine was Ginger McKim before we were married.  Not to each other.  We’re not gay, and even if we were we live in Colorado. 

Anyway, we have lots of Chiconkey things we go through and talk about.  Here is one of my favorites.  Maria, still Mendoza, went in for same day surgery that required anesthesia.  I went with her.  We were in her little room, she in her hospital gown and me sitting in a chair reading a magazine.  The nurse came in to talk to her about anesthesia.  His last name was Rodriguez I believe.  So he comes in, reads the name on the chart, looks at me, looks at her, and starts talking to me because surely the dark one MUST be Maria Mendoza.  No way the little blond one in the freakin’ hospital gown could be Maria Mendoza!  Maria and I laughed, and I corrected him.  I’m sure he will never make that kind of assumption again.

I am not the nanny and no I did not steal this white child…

ImageImageI hadn’t posted anything for over a month when I checked my messages and saw that I had a new comment.  Turns out it was from the very nice lady who created “Chiconky”.  I found her blog when I was looking for what I’m doing here and I thought I had hit the mother load.  When I got there, I discovered that her blog was really a journal she started about her family’s move.  Definitely not what I expected.  So, she found me and she said she was excited to see what this turns into.  It was enough to make me interested again, it reminded me that there are people like me who are looking and not finding, and it made me believe again that what I have to say is important.  I also read Paul Mooney’s book Black Is The New White and nearly everything Paul Mooney has to say is somehow tied to race.  So, I thought about it some more.  I can relate to alot of things that he talks about, but I haven’t found anyone out there in the world that openly talks about the things that are on my mind, and that I know are on the minds of others – Chiconkey or not.  Maybe Blexican, or Whasian or some other mixture that is not one or the other but BOTH.

After analyzing my experiences and reflecting on some more Chiconkey happenings in my life, I found that although race has been a big factor in many of the things that I have exprienced, so too have been gender and whether or not I am fat at the time.  It occured to me that I’ve been an in-between person in different ways all my life.  I’m white and brown, I’ve been fat and skinny, I’m a straight female who has, shall we say, assertive personality traits.  Traits that in men are seen as characteristics of leadership, and in women as being a condescending bitch.  More on that later…

So, here are some things that happened recently.  Attached you will find pictures of me and our son, and my husband and our son.  I have always joked that it’s a good thing that he looks like me or people would think to themselves, “Where’d she steal that White baby from?”  or “She must be the nanny.”  My husband has never been a fan of those remarks because he can’t understand what it’s like to be me.  People always assume he looks like my husband because he so guero, but really he’s got my face.  I was happy to talk to a gal the other day who is just like me.  Mother is Spanish – proper Spanish I believe, and her dad is Irish.  She’s dark like me and her maiden name is Boyle.  Hilarious!  I saw that she had a little white boy like I do.  Here is our conversation.

Me:  So, you’re like me.  You have a little blond baby too.

Her:  Oh yeah!  Is that your son?

Me:  Yep.

Her:  So you know what it’s like when people think you’re the nanny?

Me: YES!!!!  Oh my God I can’t believe you said that! 

And we became fast friends talking about Chiconkey things like that.

Here is a real text between me and my best friend, Maria Mendoza who is the whitest, blondest, blue eyed Chiconkey ever. 

Maria:  What’s machaca?

Me: Can’t remember.  Beef or pork.  Delicious anyway…

You would think somebody named Maria Mendoza would know what machaca is right?  Nope.  And I still don’t know if it’s beef or pork…

Thanks for playing…